Julie Rydstrom Hudak was facing a dilemma. She wanted so badly for her three young children to see their father, who was bed-ridden and dying of melanoma, one last time. But he looked so different, so sick. He had grown a beard, and he couldn't speak.

"But I told him that the kids were on their way, and I do believe that he really fought and fought so that he could see them," she said Thursday evening.

"And they just ran into the room, and he smiled, which I know took every bit of strength from him. They got right in bed with him. You know, kids are so ... they didn't even think twice about all the tubes and wires. They just got in bed and gave him these big hugs and kisses. Even though he didn't look the same, they didn't care. That was their dad, and they loved him.

"You know, when someone's sick like that, you just don't know what's in there. But when I saw that smile, that let me know that he knew these were his kids. And it was all worth it."

The children of Daniel Graham Hudak -- son, Ben, 9, and daughters, Lilly, 7, and Sarah, 4 -- lost their father, a former writer for The Pittsburgh Press and a longtime archivist for Pittsburgh philanthropist Elsie Hillman, to melanoma Tuesday in Medical University of South Carolina Hospital in Charleston, S.C. Mr. Hudak was 43.

Born in Fox Chapel, Mr. Hudak graduated from Fox Chapel Area High School in 1986 and attended Miami University of Ohio, where he met his future wife on the first day of classes. The courtship, however, would not come until after graduation in 1990 and a long friendship.

Mr. Hudak returned to Pittsburgh with his degree in English and took up freelance writing for the sports department of The Pittsburgh Press. Through a family connection, he was introduced to Mrs. Hillman, who was looking for someone to help her with writing, research and archiving her many civic activities.

"He always wore thick rubber bands on his wrists, and he wore them to the job interview," said Mrs. Hudak, of Squirrel Hill. "They hit it off immediately."

"He came in wanting a writing job, and he had a bunch of rubber bands on his wrist, and I had a bunch of rubber bands on my wrist," Mrs. Hillman said. "His were to remember things. Mine were because I couldn't remember where to put them."

For almost 20 years, Mr. Hudak worked in Mrs. Hillman's home, organizing her extensive files and helping her with projects.

"We were together a lot," Mrs. Hillman said. "He was a quiet, humble person. He didn't want to project himself into anything that others might have thought were important. He had self-esteem, but he was very selfless.

"He came up with a lot of interesting suggestions for me along the way. He never crowded me with anything that he felt was unnecessary, but he would discuss all the directions of things we were involved in. He was a wonderful man."

Mr. Hudak loved basketball, cycling, golf and writing. And he loved being a father. He would play chess with his son and cards with his daughters. He took them to the local coffee shop, where he would give them paper and crayons to make cards for people.

"He was an amazing dad," Mrs. Hudak said. "He could pick them up from school, get them dinner, rush them to and from their sports. Whatever needed to be done, he would do."

Mr. Hudak was diagnosed with cancer in June 2008 and underwent experimental treatments involving cutting-edge drugs. The melanoma, however, was an aggressive disease that ravaged him. Still, there were people who knew him who didn't know he was sick.

"Dan never wanted to be the center of attention," Mrs. Hudak said. "People didn't know he had cancer. He was really sick, but he always said, 'I don't want to be the guy with cancer. I want to be Dan.' "

Even while he was undergoing treatments, he made a point of being there for his children, his wife said.

"When he felt awful, he would lay down on the floor and make up stories. And he was so creative, he'd make up the best stories, and they kept wanting to hear more."

Besides his wife and children, he is survived by his mother, Nancy Hudak of Hilton Head, S.C.; four sisters, Paula Magrini of Hilton Head, Anne Meyer of Greenville, S.C., Kate Hudak-Hilton of Minneapolis, and Jennifer Hudak of New York City; and four brothers, David Hudak of Hilton Head, Tom Hudak of Overland Park, Kan., Chris Hudak of Hilton Head, and Charley Hudak of Baltimore.

Visitation is from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. today at John A. Freyvogel Sons Funeral Home in Shadyside. A funeral Mass will be celebrated at 11 a.m. Saturday in St. Bede Church in Point Breeze.

Donations may be made to the Hillman Cancer Center, 5115 Centre Ave., Pittsburgh 15232 or to The New York University Melanoma Research, c/o Dr. Anna C. Pavlick, NYU Cancer Institute, 160 E. 34th St., Ninth Floor, New York, NY 10016.

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